Nov 10, 2013
AN OPEN LETTER TO WOMEN FROM MEN........WOMEN MUST READ.
Dear Women,
First of all, we're sorry. We're sorry that although we look like men, we often act like boys. We're not even sure what it means to be men anymore. As we grow up, we learn that to be happy is to be self-indulgent and self-centered. We try to make enough money so that we can have the right TV with the right video games in the right home. We want to date you and maybe even marry you but we are scared to focus on someone else instead of ourselves. Isn't it sad that we see committing to you as a potential threat to our happiness instead of a wonderful opportunity?
Here's what we don't understand: True happiness comes from being true men. We think and act like boys who don't want their toys taken away. We look up to "role models" in the media who teach us to get as much gratification out of life as possible. We may claim to be spiritual, or even firm atheists, but pleasure is the god that we worship, whether we realize it or not. Unfortunately, women tend to be just another part of our hedonistic lifestyle. Please know this: True men won't treat you like an irritating obstacle or a sexual convenience.
A real man understands that women are to be cherished and treated with care and honor. He sees marriage as the opportunity to be a real-life superhero—he leaves behind his old identity and becomes a new person, dedicated to serving his wife and children. Although he will struggle at first, a true man who marries eventually understands that he can't fit through the narrow doorway to happiness if he tries to carry all of his toys with him. There is just enough room for him and his wife, arm in arm, committed to their marriage.
Women, you can help us become real men! Most importantly, we want to feel admired by you. Help us to know that you love us just as we are, even if there is room for improvement. Do this by giving us words of validation; praise us for the things we do well. This means more to us than we let on.
In return, we will make sure that you feel loved and cherished by us. We will learn to talk with you so you can be heard and understood, not so that we can tell you how to solve your problems. We'll also try to learn to express how we feel without withdrawing or getting angry. With polished communication we can learn that what makes you happy makes us happy too! What a concept!
Once again, we're sorry. We are to blame, even though good male role models are hard to find these days. We've ignored our calling to become true men and instead act like we're in high school for as long as we can. Please trust that we are capable of more than this.
If you are frustrated with the man in your life, do your best to forgive him and start fresh. After a while, if it's clear that he will not become a real man, leave him. You deserve better.
A healthy relationship will make everyone involved feel happy. When we are happy, we are capable of living meaningful and fulfilling lives alongside one another. Thank you for your understanding and patience as we journey onward to find happiness and become real men.
Sincerely,
Men
Men
ANAITWA MWAZANI,ALINUSURIKA KATIKA AJALI ILIYOUA WANAMUZIKI WA BAND YA TAARABU YA 5 STARS MWAKA 2011.
Tumemsikia Mwazani Said leo katika leo tena akituelezea namna alivyonusurika katika ajali ya gari iliyopelekea wasanii 13 ya band ya taarab ya 5stars kupoteza maisha.Ajali hiyo ilitokea tarehe 22 mwezi wa 3 mwaka 2011.Mwazani alisafiri na band kama mcheza show lakini yeye ilikuwa ni mara ya kwanza.Rafiki yake ambae alikufa kwenye band ndio alimwambia kuna kazi ya kucheza mikoani ambayo atatoka na pesa kidogo kuliko kukaa bure.
Wakasafiri na kuzuru mikoa mitano na yeye akafanya kazi yake ambayo alilipwa Tsh 100,000.Siku mbili kabla ya kurejea Dar wasanii waliopoteza maisha walikuwa wakiona vitu vya mauza uza.Msanii Issa Kijoti na mwimbaji mwingine wa kike walitokewa na mtu aliyevaa nguo nyeupe.Wakawaambia wenzao juu ya hilo wakawafanyia kisomo na dua ili waweze kukaa sawa.
Pia kulizuka ugomvi mkubwa ambao wasanii walikuwa wakigombana wao kwa wao mpaka Sheba Juma ambae ni marehemu alitaka kuondoka mwenyewe kurudi Dar.Lakini Ali J ambae yu hai alinusurika alisuluhisha ugomvi huo wakawa sawa.
Katika ajali hiyo wakiwa kwenye basi mwazani alikuwa amelala.Alikaa siti moja na marehemu Sheba Juma akamuomba wabadilishane siti ili yeye Mwazani alale maana alikuwa na usingizi.Alipolala alikuja kuzinduka baada ya siku 5 na kujikuta yupo hospital mkono umepooza na mguu umefanyiwa upasuaji na kuwekewa vyuma.Akamuuliza mama yake kumetokea nini mbona yupo hospital mama hakumjibu.Baba ndio akamletea gazeti akasoma na kuona kilichotokea na yule shosti wake aliyemuita wakacheze alipoteza maisha.
Baada ya ajali ile mpaka sasa mkono wake wa kushoto umepooza na mguu wa kushoto pia unavyuma bado.Walilipwa pesa ambazo yeye alizinunulia eneo kanyumba kadogo kakuishi.
Wakati ananunua hapa sio yeye alikuja kununua.Kuna ndugu yake alikuja kupanunua lakini hakukuwa na choo.Ni mwaka sasa amekuwa akitumia choo cha jirani na kwa sasa amepigwa marufuku kutumia choo cha wenyewe.Baada ya kupigwa marufuku akarudi kwa baba yake ambae amepanga chumba na sebule.Baba na mama wanalala chumbani yeye analala sebuleni.
Sebule katika nyumba yake hiyo ambayo ipo Yombo dovya.
Huyu ndio jirani mwenye choo chake lakini amepigwa marufuku
Hapa ni chumbani kwake.
Kama ambavyo amesikika kwenye leo tena Mwazani anaomba kusaidiwa pesa ili aweze kujenga choo.Iwapo uliguswa na matatizo yake mchangie kwa namba 0759 789863 na 0657 795654.
source dina moris blog
Nov 8, 2013
first date tips
1. Don't dress like a slut — or a schoolmarm.
Be stylish and sexy, but not slutty. So, no excessive cleavage, no heels so high you can barely walk in them, no barely-there skirts. You want to earn the dude's respect and make him think you are a person worthy of pursuit — not just a sex object.
Be stylish and sexy, but not slutty. So, no excessive cleavage, no heels so high you can barely walk in them, no barely-there skirts. You want to earn the dude's respect and make him think you are a person worthy of pursuit — not just a sex object.
2. Don't in any way indicate that you are interested in future contact ... until the very end.
This is actually a tougher rule to follow than it would seem to be. Because sometimes you'll find yourself discussing a new restaurant that's supposed to be really cool, and you'll say something like, "We should go sometime." Or you'll mention one of your favorite books and, because you're a generous person, you'll say, "I can lend you my copy." Problem is, by doing this kind of thing, you force a guy to ask himself whether or not he wants to see you again before he's even gotten a chance to know you — which can make him feel awkward. Let him warm up to you. You don't want to come off as overeager. So wait until the end of the date before you say, "It'd be nice if we hung out again." Even better: He'll be the one to say that, and you'll simply agree wholeheartedly.
This is actually a tougher rule to follow than it would seem to be. Because sometimes you'll find yourself discussing a new restaurant that's supposed to be really cool, and you'll say something like, "We should go sometime." Or you'll mention one of your favorite books and, because you're a generous person, you'll say, "I can lend you my copy." Problem is, by doing this kind of thing, you force a guy to ask himself whether or not he wants to see you again before he's even gotten a chance to know you — which can make him feel awkward. Let him warm up to you. You don't want to come off as overeager. So wait until the end of the date before you say, "It'd be nice if we hung out again." Even better: He'll be the one to say that, and you'll simply agree wholeheartedly.
3. Don't be a bitch.
Sure, a lot of men like "a challenge." But that means they're into women with self-respect — not mean girls. Don't be rude to the waiter or snotty to the bartender. Don't mock the behavior — or outfit — of another woman in the restaurant. Be regal and rise above all forms of cattiness and smallness.
Sure, a lot of men like "a challenge." But that means they're into women with self-respect — not mean girls. Don't be rude to the waiter or snotty to the bartender. Don't mock the behavior — or outfit — of another woman in the restaurant. Be regal and rise above all forms of cattiness and smallness.
4. Don't mention anything that could make you come off as emotionally unstable.
No TMI, please. The guy across the table isn't your therapist or your best buddy. A first date is not the time to start venting about your terrible relationship with your parents, your despised boss, or some whacked-out fight you're having with a friend. (If you feel like you are emotionally unstable, maybe you should see a therapist and get yourself together a little before doing any serious dating.)
No TMI, please. The guy across the table isn't your therapist or your best buddy. A first date is not the time to start venting about your terrible relationship with your parents, your despised boss, or some whacked-out fight you're having with a friend. (If you feel like you are emotionally unstable, maybe you should see a therapist and get yourself together a little before doing any serious dating.)
5. Don't mention you're taking antidepressants.
Hell knows, I'm all in favor of taking them. But unfortunately, a lot of people have misguided notions about what they are and who is on them. Let him get to know you — and to understand you're not "crazy" — before he gets to know about your meds. (I mentioned this in a post about first-date conversation stoppers, but it seems worth reiterating.)
Hell knows, I'm all in favor of taking them. But unfortunately, a lot of people have misguided notions about what they are and who is on them. Let him get to know you — and to understand you're not "crazy" — before he gets to know about your meds. (I mentioned this in a post about first-date conversation stoppers, but it seems worth reiterating.)
6. Do not engage in self-deprecation.
As I've said before; this is a really hard thing to get right. So, rather than run the risk of coming off as insecure or self-loathing (not attractive qualities, FYI), avoid pointing out any of your shortcomings.
As I've said before; this is a really hard thing to get right. So, rather than run the risk of coming off as insecure or self-loathing (not attractive qualities, FYI), avoid pointing out any of your shortcomings.
7. Don't mention ex-boyfriends or dudes you dated. Not one!
You don't want to give him the sense you're still hung up on your ex. And it can also be off-putting if you mention some dude you were casually dating, like a random hot fireman. He might get the impression you sleep around or you're trying to brag about how wildly attractive the male race finds you. (We know, we know — but no need to broadcast it.) So, as much as possible, avoid discussion of your romantic history.
You don't want to give him the sense you're still hung up on your ex. And it can also be off-putting if you mention some dude you were casually dating, like a random hot fireman. He might get the impression you sleep around or you're trying to brag about how wildly attractive the male race finds you. (We know, we know — but no need to broadcast it.) So, as much as possible, avoid discussion of your romantic history.
8. Do offer to help with the check.
Guys appreciate that a LOT even if they have no intentions of letting you help with the bill.
Guys appreciate that a LOT even if they have no intentions of letting you help with the bill.
9. Don't get too drunk.
For serious, ladies. Slurring your words or having so much trouble sitting straight it seems like you're on a slip-and-slide rather than a bar stool? Not good. If you're prone to getting drunk easily, make sure to put something in your gullet before you meet the guy, even if you're having dinner together. (I mean it! Otherwise, that first glass of wine on an empty stomach can do a lot of damage. And since it takes 30 minutes to digest food — while alcohol gets into your system ASAP — the bread your waiter brings won't help much.) Limit yourself to three drinks or, if you're a lightweight like me, ONE. And stick to wine or a beer you know. Cocktails and fancy microbrews can vary greatly in their alcohol content.
For serious, ladies. Slurring your words or having so much trouble sitting straight it seems like you're on a slip-and-slide rather than a bar stool? Not good. If you're prone to getting drunk easily, make sure to put something in your gullet before you meet the guy, even if you're having dinner together. (I mean it! Otherwise, that first glass of wine on an empty stomach can do a lot of damage. And since it takes 30 minutes to digest food — while alcohol gets into your system ASAP — the bread your waiter brings won't help much.) Limit yourself to three drinks or, if you're a lightweight like me, ONE. And stick to wine or a beer you know. Cocktails and fancy microbrews can vary greatly in their alcohol content.
10. Do not talk about sex. At all.
Especially not as a non sequitur. Unless you want the guy to get the impression you're just looking for a one-night stand or a friendship with benefits. And I dunno about you, but I'm not interested in that kind of thing.
Especially not as a non sequitur. Unless you want the guy to get the impression you're just looking for a one-night stand or a friendship with benefits. And I dunno about you, but I'm not interested in that kind of thing.
11. Let the dude initiate the first kiss.
And you be the one to withdraw your lips first, to leave him wanting more.
And you be the one to withdraw your lips first, to leave him wanting more.
Nov 7, 2013
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